Rising Tide: Dark Innocence Page 4

  *Ack! I’ll never get anything out of her now,* I’d thought, scolding myself a moment later for being so callous.

  “Oh boy,” I’d muttered, rising to go back to the blender, “time for some more damage control.”

  I’d doubled the tequila in the next batch, knowing it would be far better if Caelyn could forget the night entirely. I’d also taken a large sip from my mother’s drink, but not before peeking to make sure no one was watching. I’d always been a good girl, but I had my limits. Nervously, I’d carried the tray to the patio.

  “Here ya go, ladies,” I’d announced cheerfully, setting the drinks down in front of them quickly before anyone had time to protest.

  “What a perfect hostess you are, Maura,” the receptionist, Betty, had remarked. “Caelyn, that daughter of yours is growing up into some kind of beautiful.” I’d giggled dutifully.

  Caelyn must have been getting sloshed. “She is, isn’t she? Looks just like her father.” She’d bitten her lip in regret when that slipped out.

  I’d changed the subject…expediently. ”So, are you guys going to be able to survive without my mom after she transfers to the Vancouver office?”

  The accounting officer had answered, after emitting a deep sigh, “Honey, your mother is irreplaceable.”

  “Oh, I know that.” I’d wandered to Caelyn’s side and handed off her margarita, reaching down to squeeze her other hand in a gesture I hoped she found comforting. She had peered up and smiled at me weakly before taking a long draw from her drink.

  “Mmm, that’s good, Maura.” Her words had taken on a noticeable slur.

  The marketing manager, a perky little blonde thing, had spoken up, perhaps in response to my mother’s incoherency. “It’s getting late, girls. We’d better get going…after we finish our drinks, of course.”

  I’d turned to go back into the house, several echoes of “Thanks, Maura!” at my back.

  Less than a half hour later, they’d meandered into the hallway to collect their shoes and coats. I’d risen, reluctantly, from the episode of Inu-Yasha I’d been watching and went to say my goodbyes. Everyone had drunk a bit too much, and so the four of them were sharing a cab to their various destinations. Betty had almost fallen when she’d attempted to slide her foot back into one of her shoes, all of them erupting into hysterical giggles. I couldn’t help but notice that Caelyn hadn’t joined them. She’d leaned into the wall, a morose expression weighing her features down.

  I’d known she was thinking about my father, the look in her eyes very familiar, and instantly regretted the margarita idea, reminding myself too late alcohol was a depressant.

  I’d helped Molly, the new girl, who’d made the unknown faux-pas about Caelyn’s relationship status, into her black wool coat. She’d fallen back against me when she’d settled into the garment and laughed out a “Whoops! Sorry!” I’d chuckled edgily, still regretting the part I’d played in my mother’s current mood.

  After they were all out the door, and I’d seen them safely into the waiting cab, I’d slithered back into the house, footsteps dragging, to clean up the mess I’d made. Caelyn had still remained frozen in place, prompting me to catalog through our movie collection inside my head, trying to find something light. I hadn’t been able to think of any that didn’t contain some element of romance and wondered if she might watch one of my more violent animes with me?

  “Mom…” I’d started, meekly.

  “Come here, Maura; I want to talk to you.” Her words had lost any hint of slur. Had she only been pretending to rid us of the other women? She’d finished every drink I’d brought her—well, half-finished the last one. I’d followed her to the couch, wincing already at the imagined things she might say to me.

  She’d turned off the TV and patted the couch cushion, and I’d sat close to her so I could take her hand again. “Are you okay, Mom?” My voice had escaped in a hushed creation, not quite a whisper.

  “Maura, I know you wonder about your father,” she’d begun.

  “Mom, you don’t have to talk about him.” I’d ached for her refusal to listen to me, but above all, I couldn’t have watched her fall apart.

  Tears had swum in her eyes, and she’d swayed a bit, unsteady, as she’d sat with me, and I’d known her words would be at least slightly alcohol induced. She’d become brave enough to speak them, numbed as she was at that moment.

  “No. I’ve known for a long time that you deserved to hear more about him. I’m sorry, very sorry; I could never give you that.”

  “Mom, it’s okay…” I hadn’t put much force behind my words, though, feeling inextricably guilty to hunger so for the words that would tear her heart apart. At the same time, I’d felt desperate for her to continue.

  “Maura, your father, he wasn’t a bad person. He isn’t with us for very good reasons…”

  I’d interrupted. “What reasons, Mom?”

  She’d looked uncomfortable when I said that and had failed to answer my question. Instead, she’d tried to explain. “When I met him, Maura, you know I was very young. He didn’t realize how young. I was only fifteen that summer…younger than you are now. Of course, he never would have touched me if he’d known that. I lied and told him I was twenty. I looked it, too. I matured faster than any of the girls at my high school, and when I went out, I could always get away with pretending to be older than I really was.”

  I’d gaped at her in silent awe, always curious as to why any man would leave a girl so young alone with a child. Still, even if he had thought she was twenty… There were so many things I’d wanted to learn. Everything about my beginning was enshrouded in mystery.

  “I know.” She’d taken in my astonished expression. “It was very wrong of me to lie to him. At the time, I couldn’t know how wrong. All I knew was that he was much older than me, and I didn’t want him to lose interest and think of me as a child.” A tear had broken free and run away down her smooth cheek. My mother still looked like she was in her twenties. We were always being mistaken for siblings. How ironic that she could look older when she was younger, and since that she’d reached her thirties, she’d remained behind in that same youthful place she’d created for herself.

  I hadn’t wanted to say anything at that point to stop her from telling her story, so I’d allowed her to continue.

  “I was working in my parents’ restaurant that summer, since school had let out. He came in one night and sat in a back corner, alone. He was so dark and brooding. I went to wait on him, and I think I fell in love as soon as he looked up at me with those black eyes of his. There was something soft and pleading in them, despite their darkness. And, of course, he was exceptionally good-looking.” Caelyn had smiled, but the expression had been full of sadness. She picked up a strand falling across the front of my blouse. “His hair was just this color.” More tears. From both of us then.

  “Mom, you don’t have to…” My voice had emerged as ragged whisper, one which had broken as it escaped my lips.

  “Maura, please stop saying that. I should have told you a long time ago. I just have missed him so…” Her sentence had ended in a sob, but she’d taken in a deep breath and composed herself so that she could speak again. “Just let me finish, okay?”

  “Okay. Thank you, Mom.”

  That seemed to give her a bit of courage to continue. She played with the strand of hair she’d lifted, unconsciously. “I remember I brought him a glass of Merlot. He never even touched it. I kept going back unnecessarily to check on him. He seemed to be so sad about something. Every minute I stood in front of him, I’d wanted to reach out to him, wanted to touch his face and chase away whatever was troubling him. At first, he’d seemed to resist any urge to talk to me. But once, he’d raised his eyes and stared into my own. He must have liked something he saw there, because he started to ask me questions, instead of the other way around. I told him I was twenty, because he looked to be at least twenty-five himself, and I knew there would be no way a twenty-five-year-old guy w
ould ever be interested in a fifteen-year-old. I must have lied convincingly, because he never questioned me. He came back the next night, too. I lingered at his table as much as I could, but I didn’t want to draw my parents’ attention and have them spoil my little deception.”

  I’d had to ask. “What did he talk to you about?”

  “Books, music, art. But books, mostly. Lucky for me, I was such a good student. I was in an advanced literature class at the college, so I could keep up with him reasonably well. But he seemed to know everything about any book ever written. I was amazed by the way he could recite entire poems from memory or remember the most obscure details in books I’d read that I’d seemed to overlook entirely. Of course, he gave those details a whole new significance I’d never considered before. His mind amazed me and drew me in.”

  Ah, my bookworm status had been passed along genetically on both sides. That had explained that…and also the fact I’d never seen Caelyn touch one of the many books in our house. Reading must’ve been one of the things too saturated by his memory to be bearable for her anymore.

  “I met him after work that night and experienced the most unforgettable summer I’ve ever had.” She’d looked so heartbroken as the memories had flashed through her mind. Her expression had told me I could never know the sacrifice she made in recalling them. I’d known then I probably wouldn’t get any more detail than that one sentence, and I’d been right. She’d skipped all the way to October.

  “By the time my birthday came, I was pregnant. I think he knew, though I hadn’t told him. He became extremely protective. His hand would linger on my stomach when he would touch me. But then…” She looked down, and I’d known she’d arrived at the time in the story her fairytale had ended.

  “He came to pick me up on Halloween.” Funny how Caelyn hadn’t said ‘my birthday;’ she’d chosen the darker option, though maybe my perception of the moment had been completely wrong. “I always had him pick me up at the college on the days I had lit class there because doing so kept up the illusion I was taking all of my classes there. One of my friends had given me a present right before I got into his car, and I was so excited, I ripped open the card right in front of him. Those eyes of his missed nothing so, of course, the big yellow ‘Sweet 16’ on the front of the card grabbed his attention immediately. He was so angry; he didn’t speak to me for an hour. He just drove and drove, looking at nothing but the trees passing along the side of the road.” Her words had taken on the weight of melancholy, and I’d wondered how much longer she could continue with the story without lapsing into crying.

  “At first, I pleaded with him. I said I was sorry over and over and tried to justify my dishonesty by telling him how much I’d wanted him from the very moment I saw him. When he didn’t seem to hear anything at all I was saying to him, I just sat there in the car seat crying until he decided to speak to me again. I was terrified. Afraid he’d tell me he never wanted to see me again. Terrified that both of us were going to lose him.”

  I’d felt confused… Wasn’t that exactly what had happened?

  Caelyn had chosen to ignore my questioning expression. “When he finally spoke, he merely said, ‘It’s not you I’m angry with, Caelyn. Now, I simply need to deal with the ramifications of what I’ve done.’”

  “I don’t understand…” I’d begun, but she’d rested her finger on my lips to silence me.

  “Let me finish.” She’d taken on a haggard look. “I need to go to bed, Maura.”

  I’d grown terrified she would say nothing more at that point, but she’d continued. “He was so calm, like he’d just settled into a decision he’d been wrestling with, and now he’d decided, there was no going back. And after, we were so happy, until about three months before you were born. Then, we had a huge fight and…” She’d hesitated as if she’d changed her mind about the words she’d originally intended to speak. “And he left.”

  She’d risen, and I’d known that would be all the story I’d get to hear. I’d still been left with what seemed like hundreds of questions brewing up inside my mind. Had her parents been angry? Had my father ever even seen me? What could they have fought about to leave such devastating consequences in its wake? I’d felt the need to ask the most important question of all before she left me to ponder all of her words alone, while I lay in my little twin bed.

  “Mom...” I’d been so close to solving the biggest mystery of all. I’d whispered breathlessly, “Why did he leave, Mom?”

  She’d turned back to me, her expression unbelievably embittered. “Because we could only come to one agreement about the course my future should take…and yours, as well.”

   

  Broken. That was the best way to describe my poor half-hearted mother. That was the way my father had left her, so she couldn’t help it. And when I came home from my doomed outing, I was afraid what was left of her just might fall to pieces. As Ron walked me up the front steps, I cringed away from the expression I knew she’d have engraved on her face when she saw my scantily covered body, the blood dried into my hair from the ugly wound in my head…the boy I was with…

  “Are you sure you want to come in?” I hated the fear that had permeated my voice. I didn’t know if I were more afraid of Caelyn screaming at Ron before she knew all that had happened or her falling apart in front of him after she’d heard everything.

  It was too late then… He was ringing the doorbell. He looked so much braver than I felt. I could see the anger that had crept back into him in the hard set of his lips, the flash in his dark eyes.

  Caelyn had torn the door open immediately, anxiety all over her face. She looked at Ron, dumbfounded. She must have then caught sight of some part of me, because she instantly peered around his shoulder to find me standing meekly behind him, clad only in a boy’s shirt that just barely cleared my hips.

  “Maura?! What the…” Her eyes fairly popped with dismayed astonishment.

  “Hi, Mom.” What an asinine thing to say. I should have at least started with “I’m okay.”

  Caelyn just stood there with her mouth hanging open. I felt the fear turn over, like a living thing in my stomach. How was I going to survive our confrontation? How could I even begin to explain everything that had happened that night?

  Luckily, I had Ron. “Hi, um, Ms. DeLuca.” He started out sounding very shy, but as my mother’s brows furrowed closer together, he put a stronger edge to his voice. “I came to bring Maura home.” She was still scowling.

  “Um…I’m Ron by the way.” He put his hand out to her. She ignored that entirely.

  My mother’s glare was venomous. “Maura! Get in the house this instant!”

  Oh boy… She thought Ron was at fault for whatever imagined atrocities were going through her brain right at the moment.

  “Mom!” I was desperate to put everything right, despite how much trouble I knew I’d be in. “You have it all wrong!”

  “I said GET IN THE HOUSE!” she screamed at me, absolute fury flying from her eyes. I’d never seen her so angry before, and I was terrified. “Do I need to ask you again?”

  “N-n-no ma’am,” I stuttered. I hurried past Ron, but not without looking up at him with apology in my eyes. I felt horrible for his being put in the middle, just because he’d happened to save my life.

  Once inside, I steeled myself for another attempt at speaking to my mother. “Mom, will you please just let me…”

  “Don’t say anything, Maura.” Her voice shook. “Do you have any idea what you’ve put me through tonight?”

  I was confused then. Did she want me to stay quiet or answer her question?

  Ron saved me again. “I think I can explain.” He took a tentative step onto the living room carpet.

  I didn’t like the way Caelyn’s head snapped around when she looked at him. “What was your name again?” she asked viciously.

  I saw him swallow hard as he answered, “Ron.”

  She turned on him then. “Well, Ron!” It sounded like she’d che
wed on his name before spitting the one syllable out. “Do you mind telling me why it is you’re out with my daughter when she’s supposed to be with Katie Parker? And after you’ve answered that, I’d really love to know why you would bring her home wearing only that!!” She pointed the index finger of her shaking hand at me, standing on the plush blue carpet next to our couch, holding onto its arm for support, my knees knocking together.

  Ron went a little pale… I couldn’t stand to see my hero wrongly accused.

  “Mom! Listen to me! If-if it weren’t for him, for Ron…Mom, I’d be dead right now!” I shouted all the words out quickly before she had a chance to silence me again.

  “What…” She suddenly looked like she might have a fainting fit as well, reaching out to catch the doorframe for support. Ron, ever the gentleman, steadied her by stepping over to let her lean against him. I was surprised to see her reach up to grip his considerable shoulder.

  She blinked her eyes heavily, and then looked at me again. “What did you just say, Maura?”

  “Mom, Ron…he just happened to be camping near to where we went swimming…” I just lied a little bit.

  “Swimming?!” Caelyn’s eyes burned again. “You never said anything about swimming, and at this time of year? What were you thinking?”

  “I guess you didn’t tell your mom where you were really going?” Ron raised an eyebrow at me disapprovingly.

  My cheeks burned at that. I noticed Caelyn look at him with a little more softness afterward. Oh well, at least one of us would be off the hook.

  “I didn’t,” I admitted. “But if I can get back to defending you…”

  “Continue,” he said calmly.

  “Don’t you think you should go put something else on, Maura?” Caelyn interrupted sharply. Her suggestion hinted at two things. One, she didn’t want me to continue standing here half-dressed in front of our male guest. Two, she was going to pump Ron for information in case I was holding out on her about anything else. I couldn’t really blame her; Caelyn wasn’t used to having me lie to her about anything. I didn’t think it was a good time to tell her I’d merely started acting like any other normal teenager.

  “Yes,” I sighed and trudged up the stairs to my room. I could hear her start before I’d even cleared the last step.

  “Ron, just where were all of you tonight?”

  I hoped she’d at least let him explain that he wasn’t part of that horrible group who’d devastated me earlier. I was trying not to think about what they’d done, but the horror kept invading my consciousness, making me feel nauseous every time the remembrance overtook my thoughts. I’d always known I was different, but I’d never imagined that difference could make me so hated. I wiped fresh tears away as I entered the safe haven of my room.

  I dug out my favorite fuzzy pajamas, not caring if Ron had to see them. My gaze fell with longing onto my PlayStation, and I couldn’t wait to escape into some Final Fantasy VIII. But…I doubted I would get much of a reprieve from the lecture my mother was sure to deliver that night, and I wanted to take a shower. Finally get warm all the way through to my bones…and wash away the blood—thank god Caelyn hadn’t noticed—that was grossly matted into my hair. I kept catching its metallic scent, and for some reason, the smell was really bothering me and kept capturing my attention like a mosquito buzzing at my ear. At least I’d managed to hide the gash up next to my temple with my hair. The water was really going to make the cut sting…

  “Mom! I’m going to take a shower, okay?” I yelled down.

  “You’d better hurry, because we still need to discuss a few things, Maura!” She still sounded angry, so Ron must not have gotten to the part about my absolute humiliation. I wondered if she would grant me a small bit of absolution for suffering through that.

  The water was delicious. So warm and a momentary escape from my mother’s wrath. As the stream poured over my face, a rivulet ran into my mouth, tasting delicious. I must have been dehydrated, because I suddenly felt thirsty. Cupping my hands together, I caught the stream running over my face and drank deeply. The liquid just tasted so good. There was something about the flavor I couldn’t quite place, like honey; copper-colored honey was the image my mind threw at me... I opened my eyes then, only to find my hands full of bloody water.

  Of course! The stream from the shower was pouring over my wound, mixing with the blood caked there. To know I’d been enjoying the taste of my own blood made my stomach roll in protest. I barely managed to escape the shower and kneel in front of the toilet before I was sick. Maybe I’d done more damage to my head than I’d realized…

   

  I went back downstairs once I was warmed and pajama-clad, tentatively taking the stairs extra slow so I could hear any bits of conversation taking place. The house was much quieter than I would have expected.

  “I…still can’t believe anyone would…” I heard Caelyn’s voice catch with a sob. She was crying? I hesitated then, one sleep-sock clad foot hanging in midair above the next stair.

  “I know.” Ron’s voice had that same edge it’d held when I’d first awaken in his arms a couple of hours ago.

  My foot came down, though I hadn’t known I was taking the next step. The stair creaked, and then the house became, abruptly, silent.

  “Maura?” they both called at once.

  “Who else?” I joked, but no one laughed. I tip-toed the rest of the way down the stairs, making my presence as unobtrusive as possible. I peeked cautiously around the corner to find Ron and Caelyn sitting on the couch. There was a cup on the coffee table in front of him. Shane presently sat in the easy chair off to the side, holding his own cup up and drinking from it. So, both of them were in the house…and Caelyn had made them some sort of hot, comforting beverage. I took both developments to be signs things were at least a little better.

  Ron caught sight of me and smiled warmly. That definitely made me feel better. Until Shane’s eyes looked up, met mine and then took me in from top to bottom.

  He roared with laughter. “All you need to go with those, Maura, is a big fuzzy teddy bear.”

  My mouth fell open in shock, and I was suddenly self-conscious of the bunny appliqué on the front of the blue pajama top…and the same pattern covering the matching bottoms. Stupid…but I’d never really thought of them as childish—until that moment. It wasn’t like I’d had much of a choice anyway; nearly all my sleepwear had some sort of animal, star or heart-shaped pattern. I’d have to ask Caelyn to let me buy my own nightclothes from then on…well, when she was on affable speaking terms with me again.

  Ron defended my honor by hurling one of the throw pillows at Shane, as soon as Caelyn got up to go into the kitchen.

  “Hey!” Shane complained as it smacked into the side of his head.

  “You had it coming,” I said softly as I entered the room. It was dangerous to be enjoying myself too much at that point. I opted for sticking my tongue out at him, rather than running the risk of speaking anything further.

  I sat down lightly beside Ron, my head brimming over with a hundred questions. I just looked up into his mocha eyes instead of speaking any of them. When Caelyn came back, I jumped lightly and moved a few inches away from him. I could tell she didn’t like my reaction. But she composed herself quickly, though her eyes were red around the edges, and I knew for certain she had been crying. To my surprise, she set a cup in front of me too. Hot chocolate. With marshmallows even. Ron must have worked some kind of miracle.

  I looked up at her questioningly.

  “I found out what happened.” Her voice started to tremble, and I saw the tears well up in her eyes. Caelyn seemed to be taking the turn of events even harder than I was. She struggled to compose herself again. “But that still doesn’t let you off the hook completely.”

  I’d been afraid of that, but punishing me was only fair. I’d been, atrociously, not myself lately. Lying, cutting class, going places I knew my mother wouldn’t approve of. I hung my head. “Yeah, I didn’t exp
ect it to.”

  I caught Ron glancing at me on my right. He looked surprised, like he’d expected me to put up more of a fight.

  “Well, I hate to do this, but you’re grounded until the move.”

  Ron looked a little more then like someone had punched him in the stomach. Had he been planning things to do with me? I still couldn’t believe the attention he’d paid me thus far. He was too beautiful to be with me. And didn’t he have a someone to give a certain expensive birthday present to? His eyes reflected my own face back to me. I saw that I looked disappointed. I wasn’t the only one.

  Caelyn cleared her throat loudly. She might be Ron’s biggest fan after finding out he’d saved me, but that still wouldn’t be enough for her to approve of my having a relationship at my age. Much less, falling head over heels, only to leave him behind and make myself miserable for months…and probably calling up unpleasant memories of loss for her too.

  “Maybe it’s about time you got to bed, Maura? I’d say you’ve had a pretty full day.” I knew then, that for the moment, Mom wasn’t going to say anything about what had happened earlier.

  “Sure.” I wasn’t going to push my luck. Well…not too much. “Can I say goodbye to them?”

  She looked at me questioningly but answered, “Sure, go ahead.”

  “Mom…alone?” When she looked irritated, I added, “Please, just for a minute?” I leaned closer to her. “I really need to thank him for…what he did.”

  She didn’t look happy but left us to go back into the kitchen. The three of us rose and walked to the door.

  I turned to Shane first. “Thanks, Shane. It was really great of you to interrupt your camping trip and drive me home like that. Thank you so much.” My face was already burning, because I knew what I’d have to say next.

  “Hey, it’s no big deal.” Shane grinned his irresistible grin. “Besides, it was worth the detour to see your bunny jammies!” He laughed loudly as he walked out the door. “See ya in the car, Ron.”

  “Geez…that guy…” Ron shook his head.

  “Shane’s great. Ya gotta love him,” I said, stalling. My eyes focused on the blue stripes in my fuzzy socks. “Ron…”

  “Don’t worry about it. You don’t have to say anything.” That made me look up to face him. His smile was soft and full of warmth.

  “Yes, I do!” I protested vehemently. “If it weren’t for you…” I thought about that for a minute. “I would have drowned.”

  Even though I’d known the words to be true, I felt strange to speak such dark truth out loud. The sound of my own words made me go icy inside and out all over again.

  He looked angry again for a minute but fought to control his expression, make his eyes and mouth soft again. “I couldn’t stand it if anything had happened to you, Maura. And I wasn’t spying on you; I swear! It’s just…when you told me you were going swimming with those sharks, I got this really bad feeling. I couldn’t shake it, you know? I felt like I really needed to be there to look out for you, to protect you.”

  “Really? You wanted to protect me?”

  “Of course, Maura, you don’t know…” He broke off there, and I could tell he changed what he was originally going to say. “You don’t know how glad I am that you’re okay.”

  “Only because of you.” I timidly put my hand on his arm and leaned in to kiss his cheek. I pulled back then and, more boldly, looked into his eyes. “Thank you so much.” My voice was heavy with emotion. I knew I truly owed the boy my life.

  “You’re very welcome.” His eyes held mine for a minute, making me feel like he could somehow see inside of me. Like he knew me in a way I didn’t even know existed yet.

  Caelyn came back into the room then, breaking the way I was memorizing the exact hue of his irises.

  “I want to thank you again too.” She shocked me by coming right over to him and, without any warning, hugging him tightly. It was Ron’s turn to blush then. He always seemed so in control; his embarrassment almost made me giggle…if there hadn’t been big tears glistening in Caelyn’s eyes. She was really taking my classmate’s cruel prank so hard. I hated to see her even more upset than she usually was and felt a cold shock of remorse for lying to her and going to do something I knew was stupid with people who I’d known deep down didn’t really like me.

  I wrapped my hands around her wrist. “I’m sorry I scared you, Mom. I really am.” My voice wouldn’t rise above a whisper.

  She reached around me to pull me into her side. “I’m just glad you’re okay, Maura.” She wiped at her eyes with the back of her free hand and turned back to Ron again. “I hope we see you around here again before we go.”

  That took me by surprise. I couldn’t imagine Caelyn wanted me to grow any closer to any boy, whether he’d saved my life or not. She must have felt completely indebted to the suddenly-shy hero standing before us.

  “I’d like that a lot,” he admitted. “Bye, Maura. I guess I’ll see you Monday.”

  I noticed Caelyn stiffen when he spoke, but I ignored her reaction for the moment. “Okay, see you then. Have fun camping. Thank you again!!”

  As soon as my mother closed the front door, she said to me, “You can’t actually be thinking about going back to school on Monday? I don’t want you anywhere near those monsters!”

  “Mom…I have to go back to school. I have to finish my junior year, and it’s only a few weeks until finals!”

  “But how can you stand to see them again? I don’t know if I like you being anywhere near any of them, even if it is at school. What if they try to do something else to you…”

  “Mom, I don’t want them to think they can just scare me off and besides…” I didn’t know how I was so certain of the feeling already, but I stated with complete confidence, “I have Ron to protect me. He wouldn’t let them do anything to hurt me again.”

  Caelyn looked as surprised to hear the words come from my mouth as I felt to utter them.

  6. Noncompliance

  The next day was Sunday, so I had all day long to be lectured by Caelyn.

  When I padded down the stairs, as late in the morning as I dared, I stopped halfway down. I could hear her on the phone.

  “Well, you’ll be lucky if I don’t press charges! Your daughter almost killed mine!!” I’d never heard her voice so full of malevolence. I could only surmise it must’ve been Katie Parker’s mother at the other end of the conversation.

  Mom seemed to be listening then, only answering with a clipped “Mmm-hmm,” now and then. She finished with a “You can bet we will be!” before she slammed the phone so hard against something I heard a sharp crack. Surely that hadn’t been her beloved cell.

  I waited a full minute before continuing my way down to the living room. When I hit the creaky stair, she asked, “Maura, is that you finally?”

  I hadn’t slept in. In fact, I’d slept very little the night before. The only thing that had gotten me through the sleepless hours was remembering all the parts that happened after I’d woken up in his arms—that and playing Final Fantasy for nearly the last seven hours.

  I answered her by walking into the kitchen. “Morning,” I said meekly.

  “You’d better get dressed,” she instructed, examining my still-pajama-clad body. “We’re going to have company.”

  “Huh?” I started to have the first twinges of dread creep into my stomach. I prayed our visitor would have nothing to do with the phone conversation she’d just had.

  She grimaced. “Katie is coming over to apologize.” She muttered something else under her breath, but I was too shell-shocked to pay attention after that first part.

  “No…way…Mom! I’m not ready to see her…to see any of them! I don’t want to…”

  She was furiously banging around the kitchen then; a skillet was slammed down onto the eye of the stove. Caelyn was making breakfast? I’d figured my lie would’ve earned me permanent household-chore duty…even if I already did most of them anyway. My wonder was cut short, though, w
hen she turned back to me, furious.

  “Maura, that is the least that girl can do. Let her lose some of that pride by being forced to apologize…to start. She ought to be groveling at your feet, praying I don’t have her hauled off on attempted murder charges!” Caelyn’s eyes flashed in a dangerous way.

  I knew I wouldn’t dissuade her, but I had to add, “You know she won’t mean it.”

  “We’ll see about that. Now, please, go get dressed. I want you to have time to eat before that little…before they show up.”

  As I was turning to go up the stairs, knowing full well Caelyn was waaaaay too angry to argue with, I saw her haul eggs and a sirloin out of the fridge. Hmm, if delicious food became part of being punished, I’d have to misbehave more often.

  As amazing as the breakfast tasted, that was just how uncomfortable the “apology,” if you could call it that, went. Just being in front of Katie brought the whole night back, but for Caelyn’s sake I focused my eyes on one of the knickknacks in the living room and pretended the horrible girl wasn’t in my house. It was all I could do not to bolt and race up the stairs to the sanctuary of my room, but I knew down deep that my behaving like a coward would only become another victory for the nasty cheerleader and her friends.

  Katie’s mother was an older, more stern….and wrinkled….version of Katie. Well, Katie with a tightly-wound blonde knot on the back of her head, instead of the perky ponytail. The leathery texture of her skin screamed she’d seen the inside of a tanning bed a few too many times and made me feel suddenly lucky I had such a strong aversion to UVs. Katie’s own tanned skin said she was perfectly happy to follow in her mother’s damaging footsteps, even with such a useful peek at the future consequences. I could tell the woman didn’t have an ounce of remorse over what her demon spawn had done to me. I knew she was only here out of fear inspired by Caelyn’s threat to press charges.

  When they left, I was released from the greatest tension I’d ever felt in my life, heading up to my room to cry out the memories Katie’s face had brought back, out of sight of my well-intending mother. And the fact that Katie’s face had been beet red, that her voice had caught and faltered numerous times…well, that hadn’t helped me feel one tiny bit better.

   

  As hard as it would be to believe, I still wished for Monday to come. Katie and her clan would be lost among the sea of almost eight-hundred other faces. I knew I could ignore them easily amid teachers and lessons to concentrate on. And he would be there. Sunday seemed very long and uninteresting without Ron around. I wondered how he could so quickly have made such an important place for himself within my inexperienced heart. Caelyn watched my restless cleaning and later, during TV time, clock watching with suspicion in her eyes. I tried to be as casual as possible, but I felt like my eyes were bugging out of my head with anticipation.

  Finally, it was time to shut them and leave the world of the wakeful for a few numb, unknowing hours. Somehow, after the morning rush to get ready, I ended up at school. Caelyn must have really put a scare into Katie. Neither she nor Wendy showed up for school. Trent kept a careful distance, literally turning and walking in the opposite direction when he saw me. All in all, not a bad day…especially the part where I ended up standing before him after the mandatory part of the day was over.

  I was still at a loss as to how I should thank Ron for saving me the other night. I looked up at him with what I knew must be a dumbfounded expression. “D-do you want to come over?” As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I knew I’d made a mistake. If Caelyn came home and found us there alone together, she’d have kittens all over the carpet. At the same time, it was just too cruel to be grounded and lose any possible time I had left to be with him—sure, why not set myself up for unavoidable heartbreak? Stupid, stupid, stupid…

  He beamed a soft, honest smile. “Sure!”

  I gulped. What had I done?

  We walked out toward the parking lot. Was he going to ride the bus with me? No, he kept walking past the line of them parked in front of the school. He must’ve driven to school every day. I felt so childish, even though I rationalized he was almost two years older than me, and it was only normal for him to be a step ahead of me in that respect.

  He smiled that gentle smile of his over his shoulder and reached back to grab my hand. I felt my face flush. Oh god, a boy liked me. The fact was still so hard to comprehend. My heart was beating so fast my chest hurt. Even with my body assaulting me—and just because he held my hand—I was still nursing that worry in a corner of my mind. The nagging thought his trip to the jewelry store had given birth to. Was he betraying someone else when he was with me? Or was my overactive imagination running away with itself and reading more into his intentions toward me than what was really there? I didn’t have anything to compare those feelings to, so I wasn’t quite sure if he liked me like I thought he liked me.

  I tried to stop the incoherent tumble of thoughts through my head as he, once again, opened my door for me. I paused a minute to look at him. His eyes were full of light, a sparkling darkness I felt like I could fall into. The way he returned my gaze was so intense. I couldn’t help it when the thought he might have someone else he looked at in the same way crept to the front of my mind.

  “I don’t,” he seemed to suddenly whisper to me, though his lips barely moved.

  I broke the gaze, then, blinking rapidly. “Did you just say something?”

  He looked a little dazed himself. “I-I don’t think I did…”

  I got into the car quickly. My weirdness had scared off enough people. I didn’t want him to become yet another one of my lost causes.

  I flipped my hair around and bent my head slightly forward so that my face was hidden as he eased into the car. My cheeks burned as I wondered what he thought about what had just passed between us.

  As usual—it seemed to be a talent of his—Ron had me feeling at ease very quickly. He started the engine and then reached down to dig through his CDs as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened at all. Maybe I was making too much of the whole thing…

  But it really did seem like I’d just pulled an answer out of him and to an unspoken question, no less. And he didn’t even realize he’d answered that question afterward.

  The stress of moving had to be getting to me. I hadn’t been sleeping more than four or five hours each night after Caelyn had told me about the move. After the awfulness at the bridge, that amount had dwindled to even less. I’d spent most of the previous night wandering around fighting monsters in Final Fantasy VIII or Googling poetic phrases, trying to find interesting music to download. Yeah, that was it. I just needed to rejuvenate my weary brain cells with a good night’s sleep.

  I smiled as I settled on that line of reasoning and thought I caught Ron’s posture relax out of the corner of my eye. Was he that attuned to my feelings? For someone who had only caught notice of me a little more than a week ago, that seemed unrealistic.